This is more difficult than I thought...

So I am finding that being a stay-at-home mom is more difficult than I once thought.  My oldest (who is four) has one more year until kindergarten.  I find myself counting down the days until he is somebody else's problem for a few hours a day.

I know that seems like an awful thing to say and feel about your own child but let's get real....most of us have had those feelings we just don't like to admit them.

Let me just say that I do love both my children with all my heart and would give my own life for them if needed.  However, my oldest is quite the handful.  He has more energy with the shortest attention span of any child I have ever come into contact with.  This requires constant and ever changing stimulation that I just can't keep up with. 

Between trying to keep the house in order, take care of two children, take care of myself, cook, run errands and have time for my husband I just can't seem to keep my oldest occupied for more than five minutes at a time. 

What happens the rest of the time?

Pure chaos!  This leads to feelings of doubt as to whether I'm really cut out for this whole mommy thing.  Which in turn leads to depression because all I ever wanted growing up was to be a mom.  Never in a million years did I think I would have a child that was so demanding of stimulation that I simply cannot provide.

Oh yes...I have heard of preschool.  I would LOVE for him to be in preschool, but since we are a one income family it's just not in the budget at this time.  I am on the constant look out for an affordable preschool, but they are few and far between and difficult to get into.

All in all, I do love my job and yes it really is a job.  It's just more difficult than I thought and sometimes I need to own up to my feelings and let them go to be a better mom and person. 

Starting a Book Club

So I have this fantastic idea to start a book club.  As a stay-at-home mommy my conversations are fairly limited to pee, poop and nap time topics.  I thought this would be a nice way of getting in some adult conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with the previously mentioned topics.

So I am thinking of starting with Steinbeck ~
The Pearl
Of Mice and Men
The Grapes of Wrath
East of Eden
Cannery Row
The Winter of Our Discontent
Tortilla Flat
(Not necessarily in that order)

From there move on to Jane Austen ~
Pride & Prejudice
Persuasion
Sense & Sensibility
Emma
Mansfield Park
Northanger Abbey
(Again not necessarily in that order)

Not sure whether to stay on the classic literature kick or try out some contemporary works.  I'm also not sure how long it should take to read each book.  I know how long it takes me on average to read a book, usually a week or two. 

Would that work for a book club?  Should I allow for more time?  These are questions I haven't been able to work out on my own.  Maybe once I get this book club up and running these things will work themselves out.

I shall definitely keep you posted as to the book club developments.

Pinup Lifestyle

So I'll be doing a few of these blogs where I feature some of my favorite websites.  This one is really cool because it's dedicated to the Pinup Lifestyle whether your a fan, a model, a photographer or vendor. 

It's appropriately title Pinup Lifestyle.com (that's www.pinuplifestyle.com)!  It's kind of a social networking site for people who love all things pinup.  You do have to request a membership to join by filling out a sort of application.  It goes over your general interest in Pinup Lifestyle and whether your a professional joining or a fan. 

They have lots of cool features from photo contests to shopping websites to different promotions.  They even offer a magazine they put out several times a year called Pinup Lifestyle.  You really have to check it out to see everything it has to offer.  I really can't do it justice trying to describe it in my blog.

It's definitely worth checking out and best of all there's lots of shopping websites!  I find it hard to find quality websites that offer pinup/vintage clothing and accessories, but they have some really great stuff.  Plus you don't have to search through thousands of web pages!

Reporting The News or Inducing Mass Hysteria?

On Friday March 11, 2011 an 8.9 earthquake hit the east coast of Honshu, Japan.  The earthquake in turn caused a Tsunami which has caused massive destruction and left hundreds dead.  The effects of the Tsunami could be felt to almost the entire West Coast of the United States. 

This is similar to how responsible news media reported the facts Friday morning.  How did local news media report the facts?  Well that's a different story.  I can only tell you mine....I live in Santa Cruz County.  Things were reported a little differently here which made me wonder....

When are local news media groups reporting the new or inducing mass hysteria?

Friday morning, what could almost be described as mass hysteria broke out in many coastal counties.  People evacuated their homes to flee for higher ground, parents kept their children home from school, beaches were closed and lines to fill up gas were insane.  Why?  Why did we, who live thousands of miles from Japan, become convinced that we were in eminent danger?

It was reported that Tsunami waves were headed our way. 

Tsunami is defined as "A very large ocean wave caused by an underwater earthquake or volcanic eruption." 

That is NOT what happened to any part of the West Coast.  We did, however, have stronger than usual waves that did cause damage and flooding to various coastal towns.  These strong waves and even stronger undertows were a direct result of the Tsunami.  Families in certain neighborhoods were evacuated as precautionary measures. 

Looking back to yesterdays events, was the hysteria caused by reports of Tsunami waves coming to the West Coast necessary?  Schools remained open, business remained open and ALL evacuation sites were in town. 

Does it really make sense for us to have gotten so freaked out by the days events which were over by about 12:00pm Pacific time? 

So again the question I have is.....

When is considered responsible news reporting or inducing mass hysteria?  Was it necessary to use terms like "Tsunami waves" to describe the ocean activity yesterday?  Could the news have been reported in a way to evoke the need for caution without causing the "Chicken Little Syndrome?"

Who Are "They" & Why Should We Listen To Them?

We have all heard that saying....

You know the one.  The one that makes us scratch our heads wondering why without any real answers just more questions.

So this is my most hated saying....

"Well you know they say....."

I for one do not know what they say....what makes them such an expert on everything....and why we should listen to them.

Now to be perfectly honest I have not researched who any of these mystery people are, so for all I know "they" may actually be experts on everything.  However I am barraged everyday with emails with from supposed experts about anything and everything that I must be interested in.  Plus all the ads on web pages from these experts which often times have been exposed as frauds.

Now.....here is the reason why I get so irritated from this saying.

My tomatoes can no longer go in my fridge our their texture gets weird, my flour and chips go in the freezer to keep bugs out and keep them fresh, I shouldn't wash my hair everyday because it's too harsh (or something however my hair gets disgustingly oily if I don't wash my hair daily), I shouldn't drink or give soy milk to my kids because it can cause cancer, we should only use cleaning and beauty products that are natural and/or organic because chemicals are too harsh and can cause cancer......well you get the picture.

So I for one am here to say, "NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAY!" and I really don't care. 

I basically live my life the way I see fit and do not need to know what "they" say.

Mommyhood Is NOT What I Thought It Would Be

So I always had this image in my head growing up as to what I thought life would be like once I became a mommy.......

Some women have perfect pregnancies, perfect deliveries and easy perfect children.  They loved every moment of being pregnant.  If they had morning sickness at all they didn't care because it was all part of the pregnancy package.  Their labor was amazing whether they decided to go natural or have an epidural.  Their children are so easy and never give them cause for complaint.  Everything happened according to schedule and give us the delusion that every woman's experience will be the same.

I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE WOMEN.......

Between the morning sickness, migraine headaches, bloating and general feeling that I looked like a whale, pregnancy was not my friend.  To top that off with each of my two pregnancies I was very pregnant during the winter months.  Ideal you may say?  Not to me....feeling like a huge bloated whale while having to wear bulky winter clothes is not fun.  I so longed to wear cute little summer maternity clothes.

Delivering my children...well I'll spare the details but well labor is labor.

So after bringing my children home and watching them grow and develop I have realized one very important lesson....

I will love my children unconditionally until the day I die.  I would absolutely do anything for them...even give up my life for them.  However as much as I love them....

I do not always like them. 

Being a mommy means giving up a lot and having to put up with even more for two demanding little people.  It's not always easy trying to figure out what either of them wants or needs especially if they are demanding something at the same time.  Most of the time I feel like I want to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs.  Some days I don't know how I'll make it through until my husband gets home.  Of all the fantasies I had growing up about what being a mommy would be like, the reality is the complete opposite.  However.....

Being a mommy is the most important job I have ever had and I would not change my decision for all the money in the world.